God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow,sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Memory Necklace/Update

I have ordered a necklace in memory of my babies I lost. I should be getting any time now. The birthstone beads that I ordered to attach are February-amethyst(which is when I would have been due) and July-ruby(the month that I lost them) and a stone of healing-rose quartz that will be dangling from the flower (as above). http://www.labelledame.com/
I am going through so many emotions still I know that, that is part of the grieving process or at least I have been told as well as I have read from the devotional I am reading (Thank you to those that recommended it to me). For those of you that have gone through this rough road of loss, did you still have alot of emotions and struggle to get through/or couldn't move on right way and how long did it take you before you were ready to try again? But a few people at work have told me that I need to get over it and move on, and I said well it has only been a month since the miscarriage and I got the respond well that should be long enough and I responded well I am going through the grieving process and I am taking each day at a time. It is still alittle rough right now when I see babies and pregnant bellies, but I know that they are every where, and I need to just deal with it. I am trying to trust in God that he knew what he was doing, but it is really hard to do.
Not only am I dealing with the loss, I am still have migraines. Dr.C increased my Inderal to see if that does the trick, but it is not doing a very good job. My Neurologist wants me to go back on the other medicine again that I was on before I became pg, and I said no cause the plan is to start trying again when we are ready. So I have appointment with him on Friday, so I hope that we can come up with a plan of action to take care of these migraines that would be safe to take while pg. If I can get ahead of the migraine to the point that it is tolerable then I can at least function, but if I don't then I am down for the day.
Carter is hanging in, he's staying busy with school and work, to keep his mind occupied. But he has been great.
If there is anthing a sufferer needs, it is not an explantation, but a fresh, new look at God.
Don Baker, Pain's Hidden Purpose


Deanna said...

Oh dear one, anyone who would say, "Get over it and move on" has certainly never walked the road that you and I have walked. You asked how to know when you are ready to take steps forward and try again... honestly, that is a hard one to answer. Personally, after my first, I was ready right away. After the second, we waited about 6 months.... and after the third, I got shipped off by my OB/GYN to numerous specialists so everything was on hold for awhile. Girl, I know that it is so hard to know what to do.... it always made my heart ache to know that to ever have what I desired so much, I had to risk the heartache again. It's worth it.... God will give you wisdom in this journey, and I think that you'll probably just KNOW when it is time. I hope this is somehow helpful.... forgive me if it is not.

The necklace is beautiful, by the way.

Charnè said...

The necklace is beautiful and such a wonderful personal item to remember your babies.

I can only imagine how hard this last month has been for you. Please do not let people upset you and tell you what to do and when to try again. Its a personal decision for you, Carter and God to make.

I really hope your migraines start to ease up.


jubilee said...

I agree that the necklace is pretty. What a neat remembrance.

I think The Calm One and I waited a couple of months before we started trying again after our first miscarriage. I am sure the timing is different for everyone and when you are ready, you'll still probably have some fear in the back of your mind. For me the desire to have children became greater than the fear of another miscarriage and that was how I knew I was ready.

It blows my mind to hear the "just snap out of it" kind of advice. A bad attitude is something you snap out of, a miscarriage is something different entirely.

Elaine said...

I am still praying for you and for you to find God's comforting arms during this time. Sweetie, you take all the time you need to grieve! Don't allow anyone to rush you through this process. I know it doesn't seem like it, but the days gradually and slowly get better. It doesn't mean you forget about your babies--it's just time makes it not hurt quite so much.

I agree with Deanna as far as trying again. Remember, I've lost 2 children too. Eventually you just accept that your fear of losing a baby isn't as great as your love for your future children. And you jump back on the boat and ride out the tide.
It's not always worth it, especially if it fails the first few months...but when you are successful--and you will be--you think to yourself, "I'm so thankful I didn't give up."

Remember, science only takes you so far. God picks up from there and can do miracles!